The Could’ve, Would’ve, Should’ve Circus…and why I’m done living there.

I’m tired of living in the headspace of should’ve.

One of the most challenging parts of renaming, rebranding, and rebuilding Affy Health has been this quiet, looping cycle in my head: could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. Looking back on when the idea for this business started (circa 2008) and replaying what I did (or didn’t do), what I knew, how I thought things would play out, and all I had left to learn.

Asking myself what I could have done differently, telling myself what I should have done instead, and playing out what I would have done differently.

If you’ve ever rebuilt anything, a business, a brand, a life (you are my hero)…you can probably relate to this cycle. But the truth is, it’s unproductive and destructive. And entering the “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve circus” is the surest way to stay stuck.

So, I’m rewriting this conversation and sharing it with you.

Could’ve

I did what I could at the time. I did what I knew at the time.

I didn’t know what you didn’t know 15+ years ago. Shoot, just yesterday, I didn’t know what I know today. That’s not failing, that’s just how gowth works. Learning what works…and what doesn’t, making mistakes, and figuring out how to keep going, is all part of the process.

The version of me who started didn’t have the tools, language, team, or experience she has today. She also didn’t have the wounds, the wisdom, or the strength and understanding that comes from doing the thing, day after day.

She did what she could. And that was enough to get her to where things are today.

Would’ve

When I reflect on some business and professional decisions, sure, there are a handful I might approach differently today.

But the core and guiding principles used to form those decision? No regrets.

I made those decisions based on where I was in my life. I made them while taking care of my family. And when I look back on what really mattered, I would make the same sacrifices for my family every single time.

I can’t say “I would have done it differently,” because the truth is I made decisions out of love. Love for the people in my life, and given the chance, I’d do it again.

That’s not something I want to undo. That’s something I want to honor.

Should’ve

This is the one that hooks the deepest, and I’m committed to changing that conversation.

Instead of should’ve, the conversation is: This is what I did. Right or wrong, I’m going to own it.

Owning what you did is harder than wishing you’d done something else. Wishing keeps you in the past. Owning brings you back to the present, where the actual work happens.

I Could. I Did. I Will Continue.

So I’m choosing a new loop.

Not could’ve, would’ve, should’ve.

But: I could. I did. I will continue.

That’s the headspace I want to build from. That’s the headspace I want my next chapter to come out of.

And because faith is the foundation of my work, I know that God’s providence has been woven through this story. His faithfulness. His grace. His mercy. Preparing me for times like this. Planting the seeds, nurturing, pruning, and patiently preparing me to grow closer to him, brining more people along the way.

When I look back through that lens, not the lens of regret, but the lens of mercy and grace, the could’ve-would’ve-should’ve loop loses its grip.

What Sparked This

I’ll tell you what finally broke me out of the loop.

One of my biggest could’ve, would’ve, should’ve stories has been around starting a podcast. I’ve circled the idea for years. Outlined it. Shelved it. Outlined it again.

It’s time.

I’m launching the Affy Connect Podcast, a series where I sit down with mission-driven nutrition and wellness leaders. We’ll talk about how they connect with their communities. How they educate. How they inspire, and what inspires them.

It’s an extension of everything Affy Health stands for: Connect. Educate. Inspire. And it’s the next step to sharing this work. More details coming soon.

Your Turn

I want to hear from you.

What’s your could’ve, would’ve, should’ve story?

And more importantly, how are you going to change that conversation? What did you do? What could you do? What would you do again? And what are you going to do, moving forward?

Drop it in the comments, or hit reply if you’re reading this in your inbox. I read them all.

xoxo,

Yvette

P.S. Speaking of doing the thing, I’ll be presenting at Today’s Dietitian Spring Symposium in Orlando and again, for the RD Entrepreneur Virtual Symposium – both are at the end of May, and I’d love it if you attend. I’d love to connect either in person or online!